my world is falling apart

bit-by bit peice by peice my family hates me i feel like they want to put me in a group home bec. they can't take me no more im' at my boyfriends house right now staying here for awhile i feel like i can't go back home i don't belong there no more i don't want to go back there i feel misplaced there all i do is make everyone upset with me and hate me want me to leave and get out of there lifes im' just like fine i don't care no more im so upset i don't have a family no more now ik how mark feels    :bademoticon: :bademoticon:    about his family i allways said to him ik how it would feel it feel bad rlly bad terribule i was right but it was so painfull to know it i been with my family since i was a bby girl im' 22 now!~i don't care if i go homeless or to a group home they say im' to high funtioning for a group home but people can argue with that im a terribule person anyways!*sigh* sometime i wonder why was i even born sometimes! my bf says he wants me to live with him witch is'nt rlly allowed untill after he has lived there for a year and tell them and i can only stay here 14 days out of the year but he said if i don't be loud and noisy no one will no im' here. my dad said if i move out he would not help me no more but my bf says that he said he rlly would he just said that bec. he don't want me to leave the house bec. im his bby girl and im' the brightest one out of me and my brother. i was'nt goning to live with mark untill i was finished with school that was my dads rules my bf says he don't want me to go homeless or go to a group home anyways-im' not going to be done school for a very long time i want to get my phd in bussiness and that would take me untill im age 26 if i work hard enough.i can't even eat my fucking lunch bec i forgot to buy chips to go with my lunch and im hungry i don't want my frozen meals for lunch i want my hotdog with pickel i have no money to fucking buy any chips eirther my bf has no money eirther so that means ill' be fucking grumpy and mean and my bf don't like putting up with that/my cat who is only a kitten is sick we spentd tons of money on him at the vet to try to find out whats wrong with him and if we can help him feel better but he still is sick he might even die and i would hate that if that happend bec. his brother would be so sad without him they only have eachother they where the only 2 servivers from the little the other 2-3 died they love eachother very much poor wittle fwed i feel sorry for my wittle fwiye who is heathy we don't have enough money anymore to do much eles we might have to put him to sleep but im not gonna let that happen i will get a loan if i have to and give it to the vet and say plz plz if u can find in ur heart plz save him for me do whatever it takes i don't care heres this amount of $$$ will some one plz help us out send money to me at  ms. alyssa danford at 774, alpha rd P.O. Box-45 alpha ohio 45301          if need a full adress bec ur outside usa just ask for it!~ ill give it to u.our house is old and it's falling apart everything is broken in our house our house is falling apart      we can't afford anything anymore were pretty much poor bec. where in :bademoticon: :bademoticon: :bademoticon: financhel dept we owe tons of $$$ in bills and more we got to get things fixed and new things make even more expencies    witch means we would even owe more $$$ we just can't afford that____no more the only somewhat good thing going on right now is i got a job at beef o bradys as a hostess in beavercreek but i just started there so im' still leaning stuff i don't like everyone there eaither witch sucks this bitch ass girl with a fucking actatue problem shes kind of snichy chip on her shoulder she piss me off she lucky i don't pull out all her hair and by the time im' done with her she'll have no hair ill' even stick her fucking hair in the mud and dirt and brush her teeth with it!~ god dame i swar theres another girl there i went to school withh and she was so mean to me in high school she made me cry she never aploygized to me she was mean to me for no fucking reason eairther #%@*!$$%& fuck that shit she need to aplogize and explane her self i only work there every saterday of the week for 2 hours from 5-7 and i want to try to work full time exsept weekends from 5-8 so i can earn more money then im' getting now bec. right now im' hardley getting anything at all! im' gonna talk to my boss about it too im' only gonna work there untill may then im' going back to school i will have to stop my job for awhile i don't think i can do school and work at the same time it would be too much for me to handle. i want to get some money and earn some and save a lillte that way i won't have too feel so poor my mom dose'nt let me hardley spend my ssi money bec. she won't let me bec. after all my bill i owe them i have hardley any left and i go groshry shopping too that adds on to it more so i want to get pay checks so i have money for my self to spend on whatever i want to. soon my world will be gone and ill' be crashed apart and there will be nothing left of me but ashes..............just ashes........blowing in the wind like a scatterd pile of leaves blowing wispoly solfy in the wind forever in time-i just might as well as end it all now and die~ there is no hope left in this world it's all gone now!    :bademoticon:  :bademoticon:   thats all for now untill next time if there evn is one*sigh*good-bye now :bademoticon:   mabey it's true that heaven is a better place for me ill' pobaley be happyer there anyways  good-bye world ill' miss u i guess i never could acomplish my dream and save the world all weel life is hopless